I purchased my first copy of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman in 1992. After spotting him in North Carolina earlier this year, I decided to purchase the audiobook. Not only did I want to listen to Chapman read his book out loud, but I also wanted to digest his work through the lens of older, hopefully wiser, eyes.
In a recent Bible study, someone brought up the verse about flattering lips. I thought this was an excellent segue into one of Chapman’s love languages—words of affirmation. Numerous people feel extraordinarily loved when they are appreciated. The other four primary love languages the author discusses are: gifts, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service.
I especially appreciated Chapman’s chapters on applying the love languages when only one partner is interested in improving the relationship. He offers practical tips, encouragement, and step-by-step examples on how to gather your partner’s complaints, address their frustrations, and show them love, regardless of your or their love language.
One addition I would have appreciated in Chapman’s reference to “Loving the Unlovely” would have been to address a hyper-critical spouse who refuses to offer words of affirmation or positive feedback. Chapman’s technique for improving a marriage relies on the other spouse responding. Regardless, Chapman’s technique has undoubtedly helped hundreds of struggling wives and husbands feel loved and experience a successful marriage.
This classic is an excellent Bible Study resource for small groups, Bible studies, and couples.
If you enjoyed The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, you may enjoy For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn and For Men Only (Revised and Updated Edition): A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn.
